5 Apr 2011, 3:40pm
raising children
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  • Do you say sorry?

    More than likely, possibly, controversial:

    I just realized today, after reading this article that I don’t really advocate my children to apologize to one another.  If we’re in public and the offense is against another child, then I make sure they acknowledge their misstep and apologize.  But “sorry” doesn’t really exist in this house.  Eeep.  And believe me, there are plenty of instances where it should be employed. 

    D and I take the time to explain to our children their actions and the affect they have on one another.  Roma is still a little small, but we still speak with her as if she understands that grabbing her brother’s army men, while he’s playing with them, and chucking them across the room is PRobably the worst thing she could do.  More often than not, those scenarios end with baby girl in tears screaming as loud as she can and running away from the wrath of her brother.  While I don’t believe in eliminating the word “sorry”, I do believe that it shouldn’t become a cliche’…like “I love you”.  All of my girlfriends know that I don’t throw those words around.  You know how that works, right?  You all get together and hug each other and afterward everyone says, “bye” and “I love you!”.  Not me.  I smile and just give them another squeeze.  Those words are special to me.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t love them, it just means that I choose to use them more sparingly than others. 
    At any rate, when Kapp said this, I found myself nodding in total agreement:

    However, “sorry,” as a word, often turns up empty, while hurt feelings (or body parts) persist. This is why it becomes important to emphasize to children that the word isn’t just a word, it is also an action. We, as parents, need to watch for the “sorry” that becomes nothing more than a behavioral escape hatch, leaving the conflict largely unresolved.
    The rest of her article is up for grabs.  
    Just know, that in our house, one can count on screaming, crying, timeouts, explanations, second chances and love.  Yes, they may not be able to understand fully, the extent of the word sorry, but it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t teach it to them.  Show them how to be kind, how to love, how to sympathize and the word sorry will take on a whole new meaning.
    How does it work in your house?
    5 Apr 2011, 5:20pm
    by Jana Floyd

    reply

    Sheeeeeeeeeeewww.. I just breathed a huge sigh of relief!!! I struggle with the overuse of words as well – ESPECIALLY throwing around "I love you" so freely. Thank goodness I'm not the only one.

    5 Apr 2011, 5:42pm
    by East Coast-er Momma

    reply

    Haha, yes, I think both words/phrases are so overused it's sad. And, no, you are not the only one!

    6 Apr 2011, 9:19pm
    by Kathy McElhaney

    reply

    This reminds me of the board game we played when I was a kid – SORRY! I think we were about as sincere when we knocked someone off the board as most kids who are forced to say "I'm sorry."

     

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