by Mommy Hobbies
In my napsack stash
Cy’s words to me on his first day at summer school kick-off. I smiled.
He ate his breakfast of champions: one egg, lightly salted, and a circle bread (half an English muffin) then anxiously paced around the house. Finally, he opened the door and bade me goodbye. Hah! Whoaa there, Nelly.
Fifteen minutes we waited for the bus. He busiest himself on the skateboard.
The scooter. With his Papa…just waiting for the minutes to pass so he could jump on that bus!
A little dress up and morning class on how to change the oil in your car. Sometimes, I truly feel there is no rhyme or reason to my life, but I like it that way…*sometimes*.
Then, the bus!. Without hesitation, my little boy ran up those steps. There were no tears on my part or his. I was just a little struck and overwhelmed that this was all happening. It felt natural. He was so ready, too, which helped me a lot.
Although, my heart was going a bit haywire and I couldn’t think straight as the bus left my sight. With Roma still sleeping, the insane urge to get in the van and tail that bus all the way to the school was put into check. Finally, I just started cleaning, like I always do.
Two hours passed. Got my little Roma and headed off to the school. Ten minutes early, waiting, feeling a little odd man out-ish. Most of the women knew each other and had older children who knew each other. All huddled at the door waiting for their
Roma was all gussied up with her plastic, pink purse and necessary essentials: fake comb and compact.
And finally the doors opened. The kids ran to their moms and dads and there I was — no kid. My skin started to prickle and I asked one of the teachers if there was another class waiting to be let out. No, there wasn’t. Ahhh, nice. Come to find out they put Cylas on the bus. And here I was standing at the school while my kid was rolling around out there getting closer and closer to our house….without me. One of Cy’s worst fears is to be left. Not just to be left, but left by me specifically. You can’t imagine how I raced out of there. But I had to stop by the library first. Uhg. My heart was pounding and I found myself with my hand on my chest as I was driving. To make matters more stressful, Roma had to go potty so I needed to stop for that too.
As I pulled up our road I was sure that Cylas was there, crying, running through the house looking for me, his worst fears confirmed. But he wasn’t. And then, he really wasn’t. I waited until almost 1:30 for my boy to show up. His school ended at 12. An hour and a half later…uhm, the feelings and thoughts I experienced were all over the board. Fear, anxiety…then I just plain got a headache.
The neighbor lady called to ask if Cylas had made it home…Pasha’s mom. She too was a little anxious. Not as much as me because she has children, a lot, who have been going to school. She’s used to it. She told me not to worry because, “if they have each other they will survive.” Hahah. So true. Pasha and Cylas are wily.
I promise, my ear was to the ground and when I heard the rumble of that bus I started breathing again. Such a sweet sight, my little boy and his smile.