28 Sep 2011, 8:30am
cylas life Of Food and Love:
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  • Of Food and Love: The Dentist

    I may as well have said, “Cylas, you’re going to the tooth-ripper”, because he was scared.  Yesterday was Cy’s first visit to the dentist.  I picked him up after school and headed straight for the dentist’s office.  Cy was really, really quiet.  Like, disconcertingly so…  my child is only quiet when he’s asleep.  I lie not.

    “Whatchya thinkin about, hunny?”

    “The dentist.  I’m scared.”

    “What?  Why, baby, there is nothing to be afraid of…”

    “Well, why do I have to open my mouth soo wide?  Like ALL the way open?”

    I made reassuring sounds and he stopped worrying, for a little bit.  Then, I got lost.  Don’t ask me how.  This town has one main street that runs through then a bunch of side streets and alleys.   Cylas knew I was lost and asked me what my problem was.  Dude.  I don’t know, why do there have to be so many alleys and side streets?  I looped around two times, then, I found it.

    I snapped a couple of pictures and we started up the sidewalk.

    Cylas got distracted in the bushes behind me, then I heard him yell, “He doesn’t have a jacket on, mom, why?”  So, there I am, peering through the bushes, looking at some guy in a tank top, standing in the rain only to realize, he was peeing in the bushes!!
    I grabbed Cy and started hustling down the walkway REALLY fast.  Only to find out that we were at the WRONG dentists office.  Yes, after getting lost, looping in circles, spying on a urinating man, we managed to park in ANOTHER dentist’s lot and barge in.  Worst first dentist visit in the history of a five year old’s life.  No joke.

    No fears, we only had to walk three whole blocks down to the right office.

    The cool thing about living in a small town is the history.  A lot of places have original hardware, furniture, or equipment.  And this was just such a place. 

    The sweet dentist had to have been in his late 70′s and wouldn’t you know…Cylas noticed, too.  No sooner had his little bottom sat in the big chair he says, “You’re getting old.  You’re going to die.”  These are the moments when I would GLADLY welcome a fireball from heaven striking down and hitting somewhere in the room, making just enough noise to drown out such embarrassing moments.  Or, a sinkhole would have been nice…

    Mr. Amos, all smiles, turns around and says, “What?”  Me.  Trying to act like nothing happened tells him nothing is the matter…but he heard.  He repeated Cy’s words and I’m over there with my mouth open, kind of sucking at the air, not coming up with anything witty or even a transitional phrase like, “Oh, my, would you look at the size of his canines.”  Shoot. Me.

    Moving on, Cylas was obsessed with the little bowl that had a constant flow of water.  He wanted to spit soo bad.  Eventually, he got to.  Happy boy.

    The dentist was impressed with his teeth, said that his canines were a “healthy size” and then offered him a plastic ring for his troubles.  We left with a bunch of toys made in…well, whatever, we left with a bunches of throwaway toys, a happy little camper and an embarrassed mother who is seriously considering carrying large cotton balls in her purse for such occasions that her child opens his mouth to say anything unseemly.

    OMG!! Ive so been there, my son has told more than one person how “overweight” they are, and in not such a nice way! Kids are brutally honest thats for sure! I would swtich dentists ;) Great pics tho!

    28 Sep 2011, 8:47am
    by Mommy Hobbies

    reply

    Hahah, poor Mr. Amos. He was such a good sport. He sort of shrugged and smiled and agreed. Lord, I have never wanted more for pixie dust to make me fly awaayyyy. hah.

    Haaaaaaaaa! That is rich. I’m not sure which part of this story was funniest, but it was great! “You’re gonna die!”

    I remember my dentist had a “treasure chest” that we could choose a little toy out of…Those were the days.

    And that equipment was truly antique! Wow, what style!

    Thanks for laugh this morning , mish :) Olivia is not quiet there yet (saying things that would make me want to have fireball strike me) but just give her a couple of years! Love u and miss you like crazy!!!

    28 Sep 2011, 9:31am
    by Mommy Hobbies

    reply

    I love and miss you, too, Ammyyy!! I can’t wait to hear stories of little Olivia. :)

    Our childhood dentist never had fake class rings in the treasure chest!!! We just got a new toothbrush. Lucky..

    30 Sep 2011, 6:50pm
    by Lauren Bertram

    reply

    Oh my…he was old. Not too many dentist have the spit sink anymore. And yes kids say the most embarassing things. My niece pointed out that the dentist had a booger in his nose!!!! Love your blogs!!

    30 Sep 2011, 8:54pm
    by Mommy Hobbies

    reply

    That’s hysterical!! A booger?? ohh myy..
    And thank you! :)

    HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA This is almost as bad as me telling my maternal grandmother that she was “goin’ to hell” because she wore rings and nail polish. Ohhhh, yeah. She was livid. Good ol’ UPC standards were engrained into my then 2.5 year old mind.

    3 Jan 2012, 9:11pm
    by Mommy Hobbies

    reply

    Uhm, yeah, my little sis did the SAME think to our grandma!! hahah.
    And, my son, is nothing short of amazing and hysterical. heh

     

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