28 Nov 2011, 9:00am
Mommy Hobbies running:
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  • Running: Therapy

    **Warning. I am quite vulnerable in the post.  Don’t judge.  Thanks**

    Do you ever cry when you run?  Like, not from the burning in your lungs, but from a pain in your heart…like emotions.  Yeah, that was me on Saturday.  Running and sobbing.  I don’t even know how I was breathing.  The tears burst from my eyes at the 1 mile mark.  Unfortunately, the lady in pink who was standing in her yard might have heard me, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.  I needed to cry.

    The cool part about my public display of over-emotion was that it was so, stinkin, refreshing.  It was just me and the pavement, running away from my pain.  Was I really running away though?  I thought of my tears and their flight path.  They were behind me.  I was leaving my tears behind me and I couldn’t have felt better.  Then I thought to myself, “I’m not running away, I’m running through my problem and overcoming it.”  I couldn’t wait to get to my first challenging hill.  I wanted to punish myself for feeling this way.  Actually, I wanted to punish my feelings for making me feel this way.  Of course, that first hill is where the biggest dogs (like Great Dane status) within a 5 mile radius live and they chased me up the hill.  I really hate that.

    What originally started out as a 6 mile run quickly evolved into an 8 miler.  I mentally clicked my gears over for those two extra miles.  My legs felt great, my lungs felt great and all the pressure I started out with was gone by mile 3.  I just ran, big sloppy smile, bopping my head around to my music.  It’s easy to look like a goof in the middle of nowhere.  Don’t know what I’m going to do when my runs will have to be on the city streets.  Lawd help me.

    But, that was the first time I had ever cried during a run.  I don’t feel ashamed that I cried, either.  And I would proudly do it again if I had to.

    Have you ever cried during a workout?  Or have you ever cried on your own after working out because you started to confront certain issues within?  I know I can’t be the only one.

    Please, do share.

    Oh yeah, I’ve laughed, cried, prayed, sang, and worked through the problems of the world all while running. And I come home feeling so much better. I look like a goof on city streets, so don’t worry about it!!

    What you’re describing is actually one of the reasons why I have trouble with keeping on any sort of exercise routine… It usually triggers some sort of emotional reaction and rather than push through it, my instinct is to stop what I’m doing.

    Your post is making me think if quitting when it gets difficult is necessarily the best move for me… Hmm.

    28 Nov 2011, 3:18pm
    by Mommy Hobbies

    reply

    My goodness! No, do not quit. That’s when you’re exercise is getting good. That’s you’re truly “getting past” certain parts of yourself that stay hidden in everyday situations. It’s not fun to encounter these sides, but it’s only making us better. Keep up the good work and just know, that when the tears come, you’re leaving a part of yourself behind that’s been holding you back up until that point.
    I hope this helps! Push forward, my dear.

    28 Nov 2011, 6:08pm
    by Carissa Jackson

    reply

    I’ve cried! And IT FELT SO GOOD! haha I wonder if this is a female reaction? Sometimes my husband just doesn’t get how I can cry so easily. I tell him it’s my outlet- mad, happy, sad, frustrated, etc. I’M A BIG CRY BABY!

    Love you Misha and you’re always in my prayers…. God always trades our tears for smiles (Beauty from Ashes). xoxo.

    Misha,
    I thought of you when I received today’s thought for the day from Runner’s World:

    “Running is the only thing I have that’s mine. To go sweat, breathe, cry in the rain, and scream or sing in the woods is why I love running.”

    Christine Orr, runner and mother of a child with a severe form of hemophilia

    29 Nov 2011, 1:16pm
    by Mommy Hobbies

    reply

    Wow, awesome. That’s perfect. I have cried inside, more than once. But an outward expression…this was the first.

    And Kissa, maybe it is, but that’s ok! hah. I love you, too :)

    I have definitely experienced this!! Twice I have cried twice out of thankfulness to God and sheer disbelief that I had completed a 20 minute nonstop run, and my first 10K, in that order. Lots of prayer time and moments of inspiration/revelation. No wonder it is such a good thing to do..

    Misha, I am not a runner and not an exerciser. I am also not a big crier. Not that there aren’t plenty of times when I wish I could cry just to show my husband that I really am as upset as I say I am! LOL If I could count the times I have said to him, “oh you are so lucky that I can’t cry when I want to!”… Anyway, I do cry sometimes. There are those times when it is the only release that exists in a terrible situation. There are times when it is an unexplained cry. There are the angry cries, the sad goodbye cries and the happy cries. All of them are cleansing in their own way.

    6 Dec 2011, 4:25pm
    by Mommy Hobbies

    reply

    I agree, a good cry is so, so liberating. I try not to cry in most situations, but I find myself crying in secret, just so I can “get it all out” *whispering this to you, for I am embarrassed to say*

     

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