8 Dec 2011, 10:14am
Chronicles Of A Stay At Home Mom life raising children:
by

15 comments

  • What’s new

    Top of the list is: Handmade Goodness Giveaways Project! Please be sure to ENTER. Just click the link (when there is one) at the top of the most recent post! This project is in an effort to promote local and independent artists. Crafters, photographers, designers (of all types) -- man, woman or child all are welcome. Each giveaway will feature a different artist with a different talent, please join, if you will! Contact me: mommyhobbies [at] gmail [dot] com
  • In my napsack stash

  • Chronicles: Back to basics

    **Warning, if you don’t want to read about my life…please don’t read this, I’m vulnerable, honest, blunt and borderline rude**

    I started my blog in 2007.  I can’t even really remember why, but slowly it became my indirect connection with the world and eventually my life line between me and my family, as since then, we have moved to the opposite coast to my husband’s childhood (I use the term “childhood” loosely because he wasn’t born in America) home — Pennsylvania.

    I don’t really think I realized the changes I would undergo, the mental strain I would endure, the pressure I would be under…nothing.  I was as clueless as a new born.  Wide, blinking eyes, bewildered and scared.  Pretty much summed me up.  (I’m trying to stay focused here, because there is SO much to share… *focus, focus*)

    I don’t think I’ve completely adjusted to living here — and for this I take full responsibility, so save the scathing remarks and nasty looks — and to be honest, I don’t think I ever will.  It’s ok, it’s on me.  But, I have made huge changes and developed a pretty neat coping mechanism which you all have seen develop over the past months and couple of years: my life centers around running, sewing, crafting, photography (here and there) and most importantly my husband and children.  I share on my blog not only because I love opening the door of our home to others, but because it helps me.  Sometimes, I need to see that I’m doing something worth mention, that I haven’t completely lost myself under the all encompassing umbrella of mommy/wife.  Sometimes I cringe because I’m sitting at home with my children not using my degree.  I’m just, a stay at home mom.  I envy mothers who get out everyday and interact with other adults and exchange thoughts and ideas.  It’s the worst feeling in the world to literally feel your education withering between your ears.  I had grand plans you know, after graduating in 2008 with my degree in the Russian language.  I was going to work for non-profits translating, helping immigrants adjust to America by finding them homes, furnishings…  yes, and then I was going to apply to Berkeley for my masters.  *I have tears as I write this because it was so, so hard for me to see my dreams slipping away*
    It was not to be, for, three months after I graduated, we left my home state so my husband could follow his dreams.   I love this man with every little sinew and fiber and I would move again and again if it meant our family was going in the right direction.  So don’t misunderstand my expressions of desire for ungratefulness.  (because, quite frankly, I’m sick of being misunderstood, it’s annoying)

    Today, I’m getting “back to basics” on my blog.  I started this blog so I could share my pondering thoughts, silly points of view, quest for self-revelation and my life with my children.  This is what my blog is about.
    I wish I could share with you all the myriad of labels that have been slapped on my back over the past couple of years.  Some good, some bad, some hurtful, some untrue — but ALL useful because I’ve had to dig deep, deep within myself to either confirm or disregard said characterizations.

    This is a very emotional post for me today.  But I needed the outlet, besides, that’s why I started my blog in the first place :)

    And a HUGE thank you to those out there to those who…who, well, *sigh* nevermind, I could get myself in trouble.  Let me just say Thank You to my biggest fans and supporters, your sweet words have really, TRULY done more than you would ever imagine.  This is true.

    8 Dec 2011, 10:55am
    by Janet maitland

    reply

    Misha, you are in the greatest ministry you could ever do. Sis Wilson made this statement one day to us in ladies prayer. The greatest ministry a mother could do was to minister to her family. I see you do this every day. I watch others comment at church. Repeating what you have wrote on your blog. You are reaching other moms and I hope that something (anything) they can glem, from making cookies to jogging to playing with your kids. It causes others to rethink their lives and reconsider what they do. I have seen this more than once. I love this I feel like I am with you and David. I tell Danny about what you and David are doing he is so glad David found a good wife. Then I say I am so happy you found a good person. We laugh at our different thoughts but rejoice in what you both have. . What would it mean if you gained the world and lost your family. Your career will come,be assured. Keep writing cuz that…… Is your ministry other than your family. I love you,prayers Janet

    8 Dec 2011, 11:14am
    by Mommy Hobbies

    reply

    Thank you much, Aunt Janet. I really don’t know, or see how I’m reaching people or if it’s working, this whole, blog of mine. I have always wanted to to inspire people, to encourage people from a young age.
    And I won’t ever forget that my children are my “first ministry”. I love you and Danny a lot…you are both wonderful people in our lives although we’re thousands of miles away the memories of your kindness toward us lives in our minds.
    *hugs*

    8 Dec 2011, 11:36am
    by Stephanie Flores

    reply

    Thank you, I needed to hear someone just be honest today…its NOT always roses and giggles being at home with small children. It IS worth the sacrifice, but some days its just that. A sacrifice. I appreciate your upbeat attitude and ideas on here and on FB, it makes my journey easier. Ha! If none of this makes sense, my two year old has interrupted me three times- 1. To randomly jump up and down with her 2. To fix her baby stoller 3. To adjust her baby doll’s head which was GASP! backwards! Thank you for being honest and humorous, your blog is valuable =)

    8 Dec 2011, 11:42am
    by Mommy Hobbies

    reply

    Thank you, Stephanie. You’re right, it is a sacrifice, one of the greatest we as mothers make and the rewards are immeasurable if we do this thing right…this whole “parenting” thing. I need other moms like you in my life, we all need each other for when one of us down, surely the other is having a good day and can encourage us along.
    I appreciate your support, it means a lot.

    8 Dec 2011, 11:46am
    by Carissa Jackson

    reply

    Misha… Oh I love you so much and my heart completely ached to hug you throughout this whole post. I know I’m not a mother so I can’t relate in that regard but I can give you a few words/thoughts as I read this.

    1. God ALWAYS has a plan. I promise you that in 10 years, you’ll miss these moments. You were given the BIGGEST gift– the ability to watch your children grow up in the 1st few years of life. You have made memories and been in their lives for BIG and SMALL moments. This is something I know you will cherish forever and never regret. My mother (a Masters degree grad and High School Principal) always told me– If I could do it all over again, I would have been a stay at home mom. She would come home from work crying because I learned something new or did something sweet but she missed most of it. I have another friend (another Masters grad) who would also cry daily because she was missing her twins grow up. She missed their 1st steps and words. I’m saying all this to say– Maybe it was God’s plan for you to have these moments so later in life you can ENJOY a career. At least when you start your career/further your education, you won’t have any regrets, your children will be more independent and things will be easier for you as a mom. Does this make sense?

    2. I’ve struggled with this topic even in my life. I know when my time comes I will 100% WANT to be a stay at home mom. I also know this comes with it’s challenges as well. I hope to stay active in the community or volunteer work to occupy my mind and keep it stimulated. I think a large part of your frustrations has to do with your rural area. Once you move back or live in a more “city” based town, you might feel differently. I know that my education will never go to “waste” even as a stay at home mom. If for nothing else, it will promote education in my home and that lesson in itself is priceless.

    3. God knows the desires of your heart and I am SURE they will come to pass. I have NO doubt you will have a thriving career and further your education. This is just a moment in your life that God is giving you the proper tools you will need to accomplish this goal. You will need to know what it’s like to be “out of your comfort zone”, work hard with a caring for a family and most importantly to learn your “limits”. These are the things NEEDED to achieve your goals. And guess what? You know each of these skills because of this East Coast move experience. :)

    I love you and will continue to pray for you… This is just my little 2 cents but I want you to know I’m always here for you. I’m not expert in these areas but I know someday I’ll be able to relate. It’s in those moments, I’ll remember your posts as encouragement for myself. You truly are a super mom and super woman all in one! <3

    8 Dec 2011, 11:59am
    by Mommy Hobbies

    reply

    I think this post was for women, moms and non-moms, your comment is definitely worth more than “2 cents” :) I look up to you and how you’ve educated yourself and are becoming successful.
    I’m glad that I was able to finish those two years at Davis and have met you along the way :) I will continue to remind myself that these days as a SAHMommy are quickly coming to a close and pretty soon I will be posting about how I yearn for the days of yesteryear when my children were just babes: Oh the struggles. I do, so covet your prayers you are such a sweetheart to me *hugs*

    8 Dec 2011, 11:47am
    by Carissa Jackson

    reply

    ps. Please excuse any typos! I did NOT proof read. Haha

    Misha, you have done it again…spoke the words so many of us mothers desire to speak yet are often worried what others will say. Motherhood is not always glamorous, it takes a whole lot of work(emphasis on work). A degree is not required but I believe we moms excel the requirements for a degree the moment we hear the doctor say, “you’re pregnant”. There is not an education system in the world that could sum up the classes one would need to receive a masters in motherhood. Yet we move on, day by day, doing what we need to do. Misha, we (your readers/friends) still need you to dream. Your dreams may take on new forms and appear differently than you expected but keep dreaming. The two little, precious lives God gave you, need you to dream. You have so much to give, you are not done…and you are not wasting away! Everyday, you are touching lives, even if you do not see it. Your talents, abilities and all that you went to school to accomplish are only taking a different route for now. A very productive and necessary route. Thank you, Misha, I felt your heartbeat in your post today. I have been where you are and sometimes take trips there now and again. You are loved and admired!

    8 Dec 2011, 1:00pm
    by Mommy Hobbies

    reply

    “There is not an education system in the world that could sum up the classes one would need to receive a masters in motherhood.” So true. This is a school unrivaled if putting your best effort in, for sure. And I will be sure to remind myself that I need to still keep dreaming and letting my dream take on “new forms” as you say, so beautiful. Thank you, Kim

    (((Misha))) Wow the comments in this post leave me speechless. (unbelievable I know) Each one has struck a chord in my heart and spoken exactly what I would want to say had I been able to respond sooner.
    I too, have an education withering away to some degree, although mine is applicable to my daily life; the student loan companies are not satisfied with that.
    In years to come I have no doubt that you will not look back with regret; but what you see as the present will be marked in history as a very relevant and precious phase that cannot be replaced.
    You are an independent and self motivated person that thrives on accomplishment; that is an incredibly attribute. Don’t think for one minute that just because you have taken a “bunny trail” or a path different from your original plan, that you are not following your dreams. I can relate wholeheartedly as my initial degree was in medicine and right before entering the nursing program my husband whisked me away to travel. I don’t look back with regret; I see the sacrifice I made, and I embrace it with my very being.

    And for the record, just so you know you are not misunderstood, I want to clarify that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are fulfilled in your duty. It’s plain in your posts, the depth and meaning your reflections have speak volumes as to where your heart is and where it belongs. Life takes unexpected turns; you are a prime example of one who has gracefully embraced those turns and made them evolve into something more beautiful and meaningful than anyone I know.
    Soon this chapter in your life will end; you will venture on another. But the foundational principles you have established in your heart and home will remain always.
    (((sigh))) You are an amazing young woman. I admire you ever so much. :)

    8 Dec 2011, 1:44pm
    by Mommy Hobbies

    reply

    Kari, thank you. I admire you and have grown to admire you more and more now that I’m a mommy and not one of your “youth” :) You and your husband make such a HUGE impact in our lives…
    Life is full of those “unexpected turns” and I’m hoping for the one that is laced with opportunities for my dreams to come to fruition. But for now, I am on a little bunny trail that has taught me so, so much. I will try not to rush through these formative years with my children for I know that I will never, ever get them back.
    You are such a special person to me, Kari. *hugs*

    8 Dec 2011, 5:25pm
    by Janet maitland

    reply

    Even being far far away….. You are loved.smile very big hugggs back to you sweetheart.

    My dear Mish, I just want to clarify one thing with you: there is nothing like “JUST, a stay at home mom”.

    Being a mom is one of the toughest job there is. I admire you and all the caring mothers out there for all the work, the patience, the trust and love you are nourrishing your kids with, and this, *E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y* of their life.

    Hear this: when you have a job (at least here in Europe) you start at 8am, finish at 18pm (well… depends what kind of workaholic you are) PLUS you have 15 to 28 days of vacations a year, to relax, walk away from responsibilities and not care about anything than just enjoy some time for yourself. Being “JUST a stay at home” mom, it’s being on the job 24/7, all year round, and even if you take few hours for yourself, you can’t help the thoughts and worries.

    And what about all the values, the abilities and resources you are using every minute of the day?

    What if you see it this way: People management, Problem solving and decision making skills, project and time management, knowledge transfer skills, risks mitigation, anger, stress and anxiety management, team bonding skills, quality delivery, cost management, negotiation skills, creativity techniques, communication skills and the list goes on… You girl, are the perfect project manager! And what a project you are managing!

    One thing our AFS trip taught me, is that all the skills we have learned during our lives, even if we don’t put them to use right away, are still things we have learned, and will definitely be useful in near or distant future!

    You are talking about wasting away your degree. There is nothing of the sort, if you keep your knowledge alive and keep getting interested to things related to what you have studied. Your experience now as a stay at home mom will only enrich you with even more skills you will share in the future!

    Because, you might be focusing on your kids right now, but once your little cygnets are going to become beautiful swans in our world, you, my dear will still be among us as a woman, head and hands full of knowledge, time and generosity.

    You are currently having one of the most beautiful and hardest job there is around, one that I couldn’t do myself right now. And your life is far from being over, you have many and long years ahead, which will bring you many challenges and opportunities, I know it ;)

    AND, you bring so much to so many around you, you might not notice it yourself, but you are.

    Sorry about my English, I know it’s baaaadddd, but I don’t care :D I love you Mish, you rock and you are someone I deeply respect and admire!

    I’m ur biggest fan Misha <3 First read ur blog when i was 10!

    [...] like to call — a loss of a sense of self.  A while back, on my blog, I posted about getting back to the basics, finding my passions and believing in myself [...]

     
     
  • Points of Interest

    Follow Me on Pinterest
  • My Button! Grab it…

    Mommy Hobbies
  • Handmade Goodness :: By me!

  • Blog Lovin’

    bloglovin
  • Run with me!

  • I blog here, too!