Chronicles Of A Stay At Home Mom: my future what do you do after being a stay at home mom
by Mommy Hobbies
In my napsack stash
Most recently I’ve been plagued with thoughts of my future. It’s inevitable, my future. It’s always lurking around the corner scaring me with its mysteriousness. What am I going to do with myself??? How is it that I ended up, 31, with two kids and no “future”? When I was younger, I had grand plans of traveling and being a diplomatic escort, uhm, that is no longer in the cards, so what now?
I envy those who just *know* what they are going to do and every move they make in their life is a chess move toward their ultimate goal. I have someone in my life like that and it’s enviable. I’m desperately scrambling trying to pick a favorite part of myself to nurture academically so I can have something to do while my babies are in school (only one more year and baby R will be in school). My love for languages is insatiable and I have a small list, that is growing, of the languages I want to learn. But, I also love…nevermind, this could go on for a few paragraphs. Bottom line is — I want to know what to do. That’s all. I feel a little bit nowhere-ish right now and it’s very bothersome. Sometimes, I feel really guilty for feeling this way. I know that there are SAHMs (stay at home moms) who just live to stay home, even if their babies are in school, I do not. When my babies are in school, I want to remember how to fly again. That’s what I want. The feeling of filling my mind with interesting bits of knowledge, and then creating a wonderful academic atmosphere for my babies is something I crave. Books on the shelves, maps of the world on the wall, charts of the stars, books with huge fold outs of the human anatomy…just a general love for everything.