Chronicles Of A Stay At Home Mom: being too sensitive don't take things personally taking things personally
by Mommy Hobbies
In my napsack stash
Ok, so, not in every case, but, I’ve found that in a lot of situations, the ones where I took something SO personally, I shouldn’t have, because it wasn’t me that was causing them to be so, what, rude, nasty, cold, harsh, critical, judgmental…on and on. It bothers me when people are rude without provocation. I take rudeness VERY personally. Well, I used to until my husband showed me how ridiculous I was being and convinced me otherwise (thank you, thank you, thank you). It’s an art, really, learning how to be objective instead of subjective and not allowing the situation to take over your mind and mood. I’m getting better at standing back and assessing instead of letting it consume me and I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t see the forest for the trees.
Most recently, my challenge was coming from a professional setting. The owner of a particular business in town was rude to me, on more than one occasion. They refused to look at me while they spoke to me, ignored me if I said hello, spoke harshly if and when they decided to speak to me, once they even pushed past me in a doorway almost knocking me over. I was SO irritated. Seriously. This person and I had never spoken on a personal level, we had never exchanged more than a superficial discourse. What was their problem!? I had to come to terms. It wasn’t me. It was them. And, yet, it WAS me…not them.
What? No, I’m not contradicting myself, let me explain…
As a woman, I come by it naturally to be sensitive. It’s inherent. Why, God, whyyyy?? Being sensitive is SO annoying, it can be debilitating, paralyzing, tortuous, you name it. And in the same breath, it can be life changing, I’ve been able to reach out to people because I was sensitive enough to feel their pain and see it in their eyes although they were smiling and carrying on as if life were easy like a Monday morning
So here is where I was to blame. My sensitivity got the better of me. *doh* Yeah. In spite of their problems, and how they contributed, I’m to blame for letting it go in, settle, wreak havoc, pummel my emotions to a pulp and leave, all because I decided that I had done something to make them treat me that way. (a mouth full, but how else to phrase it?) Bottom line: I blamed myself for their rudeness.
But that’s wrong!! That’s SO wrong. And, I refuse to do that anymore. I refuse to let someone’s suspicions, critical eye, snarky comments, twisted perceptions be MY fault, anymore. Never again. You can’t make anyone love or like you, and putting yourself through hoops to make that happen isn’t worth the sanity you lose, honestly.
The rivers I’ve cried after taking things to heart, the sleep I’ve lost…oh, lord, the sleep I’ve lost. No more. My corny little mantra has kept me on track, “Don’t take it into your heart, see it for what it is. It’s their behavioral issue, not yours.” And the only way I can keep things at bay, is to keep my sensitivity level in check.
Is yours in check, or does it torture you as much as mine used to and still TRIES?
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”