Chronicles Of A Stay At Home Mom life: family my love for my family
by Mommy Hobbies
In my napsack stash
Not sure if I have anything particular to write about today…I always have something to say, hah. The one thing I’ve been thinking about lately is my family. They bring me so.much.joy. Honestly. And yes, people scoff and put snarky things on Facebook about how everyone uses FB to make their lives look perfect and as if nothing ever goes wrong. WELL, let me tell ya’ that ain’t the case here! (cringe for my poor grammar but it makes my point sound so much more interesting)
I have struggled for the past four years with a slight case of depression. Wow. Didn’t see that one coming…
I suppose this is more of a confessional post.
I did. The move to central Pa was extremely hard (I’ve made that very, very clear) and I didn’t want to be here (still would prefer to move, but I’ve learned to live). Nearly everyday was a dark cloud for me, I would move about the house, clean, I would cook, I started running, sewing, got heavily involved in our church, hung out with other moms (briefly) but at the end of the day I was still sitting on the back side of a veal farm and right in the draft of the chicken farm at the corner of our road. Blech. The nearest big city 2.5 – 3 hours away and each day a lonely torment for me.
There are a lot more factors than what I just mentioned, but we’ll just leave it at that.
Running was sort of a saving grace for me. In spite of all the activities I was doing to distract myself and keep myself busy, there was still an ache inside. During my runs I would pray and talk things out and at the end of 5, 6, 7 or 8 miles I felt like a new person. They say running actually has addictive qualities about it. It works like a drug and when you start dedicating a lot of time to running you begin to crave it. That pretty much sums up my relationship with running. I crave it. Not to mention is releases endorphins which helps to lift the mood.
Recently, I injured myself and haven’t really *run* in a month. It’s been excruciating for me, but I keep telling myself that if I don’t allow myself time to heal I could make it all worse and possibly not ever run again. So, I cooled my heels and did other forms of exercise instead. During this month of no running I started realizing how much my family means to me. The joy I have when I see my husband pulling in the driveway from work, or when my little boy hops off the bus and when my baby girl gets up in the morning and wants to snuggle with me. All of this is sort of indescribable. You can doubt me if you will, but my heart knows what I type is true.
There are people I know who are so, so sad, even with their family. My family makes living here so much easier for me. I may not be happy with my locational situation but coming home after being at the gym or running errands in the evening and hearing my babies shout with delight because I’m back makes my heart burst. It reminds me that my family is the most important thing on this planet. They are, truly, all I need.
Let me say, my life is NOT PERFECT, but I do choose to focus, publicly, on the more pleasant side of my life instead of being a Debbie Downer and talking about all the things I hate. I like to keep it real on my blog and share some of my struggles, but it’s definitely not the focus. My blog is also a little bit of therapy for me, for some reason my thoughts are more succinct and comprehensible when I type them out.
Pretty much, as soon as I learned how valuable my family was to me I started focusing more on them than my surroundings and it made all the difference in the world.