Chronicles: Finding my brain again — a never ending saga

*sigh*
I’m sure I’ve run up this road so many times.  At the top it’s the same every time, a vast valley of dreams and desires waving up at me, taunting, daring me to come after them.  Usually, I venture into that expanse far enough to lose heart and I don’t go any further.  “There is always tomorrow.”  Tomorrow comes and I still haven’t realized any of my dreams.  So disheartening.  This year I was going to accomplish some of those dreams in that valley, and you know what?  There have been some successes, not the least of which, me training to run the NYC ING Marathon. (I am in need of sponsors!)

But, as the years go by and I get further and further away from the day I graduated (sickeningly so), my brain has decided that mush is the preferred state.  Uhg!
Last weekend we had some guests and I was inspired, completely and totally inspired.  The man shared with David and I how later in his life he committed to learning Spanish.  Fifteen minutes a day.  That’s it.  Fifteen minutes a day and he mastered the language to the degree of being able to ace a government issued, standardized test.  Bam.  What was my excuse?  I’ve been jonesing to learn another language and to brush up on my Russian.  Now, Russian and I have been getting reacquainted regularly this year, but I’ve pushed aside my burning desire to learn French.  No longer.  I’m a third of the way through the Pimsleur series (which I LOVE) and have the language headaches to prove it.

I’m also, reading, reading, reading.  Anna Karenina is ever my companion and then I picked up these two stragglers.  Can I just say that The Poisonwood Bible is.a.must.read.

I’m a mom.  I’m a stay at home mom.  But it doesn’t mean that I can’t dig into the news, read — for real, learn a new language, pick up a physical activity.  It doesn’t mean I have to sit back and wither, or bloat, for that matter.  My children and family come first, but there must be a balance.  My brain has really taken a backseat during these past few years and I’m committed to bringing it back to life.

I was talking to a fellow mom the other day and she told me that she doesn’t do things for herself because she doesn’t want to take away from her children who are in: cheerleading, football, swimming, gymnastics…and whatever else.

First off, we can’t afford to put our children in that many activities, but even if we could, we wouldn’t.  Pick a sport, any sport, stick with it, finish it, change when the seasons do, but running myself ragged so my kids can be bogged down with two or three physical activities a piece is more stress than it is productive.  And, quite frankly, I’d like a night or two to be able to workout.  She looked at me like I had hit my head, but I said, “there needs to be a balance, I need to be healthy for my family, and if that means I need a night off to workout, then I’m taking a night off to exercise.”  Pretty sure she hated me after that.  That’s fine.  There must be a balance and I’m finding it again.

I don’t spend as much time as I’d like working out, or getting out, but that’s where creating the balance comes in.

Love me.  Hate me.  I’m reclaiming my brain and body.  Thank you very much   (even if it does take me renewing my library books the max amount of times, because I’m constantly interrupted and can barely make it through 5 pages at a time! hah)