22 Feb 2014, 9:20pm
Chronicles Of A Stay At Home Mom:

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  • Chronicles: One week and it will be two months

    This is hard.  Not going to lie.

    I am trying to find that balance, the perfect one between impossible and possible, the one where you find two objects that should not be able to balance one atop the other and make it happen?  Yeah, that’s my life right about now.  David is almost invisible to us because it’s tax season.  His day starts at 8am and ends somewhere around midnight, every night, except Sunday.  My mind is tired of trying to juggle being a mommy, a house cleaner, a wife, a student, a runner and a chauffeur.

    I’m so overwhelmed with trying to keep my house cleaned.  I’m not doing a very good job, and it’s irritating me.  Today, I mopped my floors for the first time in two weeks.  That’s UNHEARD of for me.  The dust on my shelves is layering up quite nicely and very diligently.  I’m sure I could create a small *polar vortex* of dust bunnies if I really, really wanted to, no joke.  I come into the house every Tuesdayand Friday sapped of all mental strengthand I just want to lay down, curl up and have dinner magically setting on the table, piping hot, the dishes to be cleaned and the floors to be swept up, but it never happens no matter how hard I wish.  I don’t want to forget these feelings of exhaustion, or my frustrations.  This is a journal for me to look back on and smile and say, “I did all of that.  I didn’t stop.  I was successful in the end, in spite of it all.”

    I plan to say those words.  I really do.

    I’m thanking my future self for sticking with it and making it all happen.  Thank you future self.  All of this was worth it.

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