Chronicles: The Feeling Of Togetherness

The past couple of weeks I’ve had an undercurrent of emotion flowing through my mental body (that would be my brain…).   Knowing that D is just about done with school has a lot to do with it.  We moved back East nearly 4 years ago so my husband could go to school for accounting.  It has not been easy on so many levels and in so many different ways, but next spring will be his LAST semester.

Our lives have revolved around papa’s study time.  We take what we can and enjoy every second because there isn’t much to go around.  Last night, I took the kids out on an unusually late evening shopping trip.  It was 7pm!  We left while papa stayed and studied.  But before we did, Cy said, “Mama, let’s go, but I don’t want papa to go.”  I asked him why and he said, “Because papa has to do his school stuff, I don’t want him to go so he can do his school stuff.”  Even my little boy knows how important it is for papa to study.

I can’t even really express the peace I’ve been feeling knowing that we are on the right track.  We came here with a goal in mind and we’re achieving it.  It’s getting easier for me to think straight and organize my life, to feel confident as a mother, to appreciate certain talents I might have.  All of these pieces in my life are starting to come together instead floating around out there waiting for me to “get a grip”.  Life lessons have equipped me to grab these parts of myself and line them up.  Hence, my overwhelming sense of “togetherness”. 

I truly believe there is nothing worse than a scattered mind.  It was so tiring being a disjointed fragment of what I should/could be.  Glad I’m getting it “together” and developing a solid, confident “grip”.